the lord of the profits

9 Sep

WARNING: Total nerd-fest now commencing.

This is an abomination.

New Line is releasing yet anothing version of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. This time you can get the theatrical version and the extended version together. I heard the words “Limited Edition” and my heart began to palpitate. But then I thought, “No worries, if I actually wanted to watch the theatrical version I can just skip over the added scenes in the extended version. And who really wants to watch the theatrical version anyway?”

But then came the fatal blow to my resolve: new documentaries. I can’t help it, I eat that shit up. Goddamn you, New Line! Goddamn you and your evil, manipulative plan! Just take my $60 now before I start to cry.

Now, on a related note, we have a major spider problem at our house (Sarah and Kristen, you may not want to read on). They are here due to our considerable insect problem, which gives them a 24-hout buffet. The little one’s aren’t so bad, I can handle that. Until they start repelling off of walls and down into my lap when I’m on the sofa. That makes me uncomfortable. But this week effing Shelob has moved into town.

I’m not kidding you, this thing is huge. And it conveniently decided to build it’s web across the doorway to the front porch. We ruin it every day opening the front door and Shelob rebuilds every night. Now, most large spiders are kind of hairy, like the wolf spider variety. That would be normal, that would be okay. But this one is smooth and sinister-looking…and gargantuan. I’m serious about calling it Shelob. Here’s a really bad picture:

That’s the best I can do. You can’t use flash in macro mode and it won’t focus if it’s too dark.

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4 Responses to “the lord of the profits”

  1. Sarah September 16, 2006 at 20:45 #

    OH MY FUCKING GOD.It’s so big. It’s so horrible. It’s so big and horrible.”She’s always hungry.”On a related note, my mom has a “pet spider” that is not quite as huge (but pretty effing big). It’s smooth and yellow and lives by the crack shack.Creepy. Gross. Kill them all.

  2. Kristen September 23, 2006 at 11:09 #

    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW

  3. Anonymous September 23, 2006 at 12:05 #

    If you can get that close to take a picture, just kill the damn thing!

  4. Pick 3 Turbo Player October 15, 2006 at 18:02 #

    Nice blog!If you get a chance, check out my site: Pick 3 Turbo PlayerThanks

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