lights will guide you home and ignite your bones

12 Mar

It has been about a year since I was diagnosed with Asperger’s.  A lot has happened in that year, but I don’t feel like much has changed.

I mean, it has been helpful knowing about it.  At least now I don’t have to blame myself for all of my social issues.  But, that doesn’t change the fact that I still have to follow the social rules if I want to function well in society.  Just because you know why you have a problem doesn’t mean you know how to fix it.

I’m still confused.

I’m still alone.

I get indignant.  I get really offended by the idea that I need to be fixed.  Why do I have to do things the way other people think I should?  Why is my way the wrong way?  Why do I have to conform in order to be accepted?  It’s not fair.

Well, it isn’t fair – just like everything else in life.  I’m just going to have to deal with it.  The question is, how much of yourself can you change before you aren’t you anymore?


One Response to “lights will guide you home and ignite your bones”

  1. California Lo March 18, 2010 at 22:32 #

    I struggle with this everyday. Do I accept myself as I am or do I change into the person I say I want to be? So far, not changing…so I guess I better accept myself as I am.

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