lights will guide you home and ignite your bones

12 Mar

It has been about a year since I was diagnosed with Asperger’s.  A lot has happened in that year, but I don’t feel like much has changed.

I mean, it has been helpful knowing about it.  At least now I don’t have to blame myself for all of my social issues.  But, that doesn’t change the fact that I still have to follow the social rules if I want to function well in society.  Just because you know why you have a problem doesn’t mean you know how to fix it.

I’m still confused.

I’m still alone.

I get indignant.  I get really offended by the idea that I need to be fixed.  Why do I have to do things the way other people think I should?  Why is my way the wrong way?  Why do I have to conform in order to be accepted?  It’s not fair.

Well, it isn’t fair – just like everything else in life.  I’m just going to have to deal with it.  The question is, how much of yourself can you change before you aren’t you anymore?

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One Response to “lights will guide you home and ignite your bones”

  1. California Lo March 18, 2010 at 22:32 #

    I struggle with this everyday. Do I accept myself as I am or do I change into the person I say I want to be? So far, not changing…so I guess I better accept myself as I am.

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