Tag Archives: grad school

i kicked grad school right in the junk

12 May

…and I couldn’t be happier about it.

I now have a Master’s of Education in Educational Psychology.

Booyah.

i did it!

6 May

I finished the very last assignment for my master’s degree 10 minutes ago.

I graduate on Saturday.

I did it!

Go me!

a month left

11 Apr

There are 30 days until graduation.

Holy crap!

I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.

self-esteem and autism survey

26 Feb

Hi there, folks.

I need people of all kinds to fill out my survey for my master’s research, but I especially need responses from those of you who have autism or Asperger’s. And I tend to get more responses from women. So help me out, men.

Please take a few moments to fill it out, and share it with your friends.

Thanks! I am eternally grateful!

this is now officially the worst week of my life

14 Feb

Shall we recap?

  1. I’ve been utterly depressed because I am single, my ex has a new girlfriend, and I’m not having any luck in my sad attempts at dating.
  2. I am incredibly lonely and not liking myself very much.
  3. I found out that the high school I wanted to do my master’s project at won’t let me do it there because they “only work with PhD candidates” and I am running out of time to do this data collection.
  4. Not having much luck with the other local school districts. I may have to think of a whole new topic and redo all of the work I have done in the last six months, and I have to get the entire thing done by May or I don’t graduate.
  5. Today my company announced that they are closing our State College office, so we’re all laid off.
  6. And it’s Valentine’s Day.

Yep. The universe is taking a giant crap all over my plans.

Life fail.

 

fubar

29 Jan

With the start of the new semester I have found that there are several things of importance that nobody ever bothered to tell me.

Apparently we’re just supposed to do our research on our own. Yeah. They aren’t really giving us any guidance or letting us know what is expected of us. I talked to my advisor for the first time this week because I don’t know what the hell is going on. Apparently he was supposed to approve my research topic like a year ago. Nobody told me that either.

Also, there’s this comprehensive exam that we have to pass in order to graduate. I didn’t know about that until last semester. It’s supposed to cover six of the classes we’ve had. I don’t have those textbooks anymore. And nobody has told us when this mysterious exam is to occur.

It’ll be a miracle if I actually complete all of the crap that I need to graduate because no one is telling what I need to know.

I’m really, really upset about this.

I’m paying a lot of money to these people. At the very least they could give me the information I need to do my work.

blip, blip, blip

28 Nov

That’s the sound of me coming back onto the radar.

Yeah, I warned you that would happen. What with the Skyrim, and Thanksgiving, and catching a cold, and school projects, and SAD I just haven’t had the inclination to post.

I hope everyone (in the US at least) had a good Thanksgiving break. Technically I’m still on break cause one of my clients doesn’t start school again until Wednesday. Thank you, hunting season. That’s right. For all of you non-Pennsylvanians who may not know, we get the first day (or two in some places) of deer season off of school. It’s one of the few perks of living in the hinterlands. Although now I have to watch that I don’t get accidentally shot when I’m out in the back of our property.

The end of the semester is now in sight. December 16 is officially the last day I have anything due, but hopefully I’ll get it all done earlier than that.  Then I have a whole month of glorious freedom! Okay, I still have to go to work. But going to work is so much easier when I know I don’t have to do homework when I get home.

It’s amazing what a break can do for my mood. I feel so much better now that I’ve had some rest. I need to figure out how to replicate this feeling all of the time, but that would require going to bed early and I don’t know if I can do that all the time.

I’m too old for this

23 Oct

I find myself saying that phrase fairly often these days. I don’t feel old, like elderly. I just feel too old for certain things, like school. I’ve turned into a slacker.

I don’t really care to do any of this stuff anymore. I still have 201 days until graduation. It feels like forever. I’d rather be knitting, or baking, or doing something that has a tangible result. Consequently, I do those things instead of studying. I made a pumpkin roll yesterday. That’s an accomplishment, right?

Work has been pretty boring lately too.

I think the winter doldrums are setting in a little early this year.

 

writing sucks

30 Sep

I am not good at writing. Sure, I write a blog. But all you have to do for that is spew whatever you’re thinking onto the internet. I do not write well when it comes to assignments that require a minimum number of pages. I am not good at filling in pages with unneccessary information that is still somehow related to the topic at hand.

I say what is absolutely needed to get my point across and that’s it. That does not make for a long paper.

So yeah, school is stressing me out right now and I’m just procrastinating as long as possible.

 

Unrelatedly, I bought these sheets.

Yeah, they look pretty cool.  They’ve got that neat pleated border. Well, I found out that in order for them to continue having that neat pleated border I have to iron them every time they’re washed. Laziness fail.

you ride the waves and don’t ask where they go

14 Sep

School update:  I did get a volunteer for my project and I did the initial interview with her yesterday. It seems like they’ll be a great family to work with. We ended up talking for quite a while after the actual interview was done.  It was quite nice. It seems that, once again, I may have freaked out for nothing.  But, it’s hard to change your old patterns.  I’m trying.

Meditation update: I slacked for two days, then got back to it yesterday.  It went much better than on previous days.  I still had monkey mind for the first ten minutes, but then it calmed down.  I think getting some extra sleep definitely helped.  When I try to meditate when I’m sleepy it’s infinitely more difficult. This awakening stuff is hard work.

Emotion update: After about a week of deep loneliness my emotional state has switched over to anger. Maybe this is just the progression of my grieving process or something. I’m angry at myself and at some other people.  But mostly at myself.  I’m starting to realize that I shouldn’t apologize to people for feeling how I feel….about anything. This is doubly true for when I’m in a relationship with someone. My emotions and needs are valid, whether someone else agrees with it or not. I’m angry at myself for forgetting this and losing perspective. Trying to accommodate someone else is not always the right thing to do, even if you love them. Especially if you love them.  Sticking up for myself has never been something I’ve been good at.  But again, I’m trying.

Cheesy concluding sentiment: Recently I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on my life and the decisions I’ve made. I’m starting to believe what people say. Your experiences, bad and good, teach you something and if you’re smart you’ll use it as an opportunity to grow. In my younger years I chalked that up to optimistic bullshit. I guess I’m getting wiser or <gasp> turning into an optimist.  In any case, it feels like progress, and that’s all any of us can really hope for.

you know what?

9 Sep

I’m angry.

I have to do a project for a class this semester where I have to find a kid with a minor behavioral problem and do an intervention. We have to do a couple of interviews and some data collection throughout the semester.  The professor gave us the first two and a half weeks of class to find someone to work with and do the first interview.  I have six days left and I haven’t gotten anybody yet. I feel like I have asked everybody that I know. There isn’t anybody left.

I’m a good student.  I have a 4.0 GPA for my master’s degree so far. I feel like I’m being penalized because I don’t know very many people and I don’t think that’s fair. I really don’t know what to do.

Not to mention, I haven’t learned anything from this program so far and I already know how to do an intervention because it’s my job. I do it every day.  I don’t need to be doing this stupid project in the first place.

 

Add to that three days of insomnia and a soul-crushing feeling of loneliness and it’s a recipe for disaster.

 

It’s okay.

Bursting into tears while driving the car is perfectly normal.

Right?

resolve

29 Aug

I was feeling pretty good last week, and now I feel like I’m losing my resolve.

The semester started today and all the stress came flooding back in. And with it, came the loneliness of no longer being in a relationship and not having another person around during stressful times. I have to decide on a research topic by the end of this week. It’s overwhelming. I don’t know what to pick. It has to be something that I can feasibly do a study on. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I feel like I’m not getting much guidance.

I hate school right now.

Only 256 days until graduation.

grad school

17 Oct

Yeah, so I forgot how annoying it is to be in college.  I mean, I love to learn but I had forgotten how stressful it was the first time.  This time it isn’t as bad.  I know what to expect and I’m only taking two classes at a time.  But, I’m also working at the same time.

I do have the tendency to procrastinate, but I’m doing okay so far.

I guess we’ll see what happens when I have to start research.  Yuck.

here we go again

24 Mar

I have another interview on Friday.  I seem like a very good choice for the job, but I’ve thought that before…

Not even going to bother writing about the details unless they offer it to me.

Also, I think it’s dumb that you need academic references when you apply for a graduate degree six years after undergrad.  I don’t know if any of my professors remember me.  In any case, I’m a very different person now than when I was in college.  I don’t really see how it’s relevant.  Especially since the forms from the department want to know about my sense of humor, or things like my “ability to calm others” and “ability to tolerate ambiguity.”   Really, Edinoro?

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